Love Them

This week has been a hard one for me. And if it was hard for me, I can't even imagine how it was for my sweet cousin Mindy. Sunday morning, as she cradled her four year old son Conner in her arms, Heavenly Father called him home. She knew it was coming and was expecting it, but I don't think that makes it any easier. The funeral was sad, moving, and spiritual. I was crying, of course, and Baby Sister was so worried about me. She just keep looking into my eyes asking, "How come you sad Mommy?" She did her best to make me feel better by giving me hugs and stroking my hair. In memory of Conner Mindy asked that we love our children a little more today than we did yesterday. This week I have put off reading my book so I could hold my Baby Girl. Turned off the the TV because Big Sister wanted to talk. I have been patient while helping Little Sister with homework. Served cold cereal for dinner so I could play baseball with Brother. It is crazy how easily I forget what is most important in my life.
I am especially emotional at any funeral. Maybe everyone is that way. I think I am this way because I have been expecting to lose my mother since I was very young. In 1985 her doctors told us that she would live for about 10 years with the treatment she was receiving at the time. I was 10 years old. I hoped she would see be graduate from high school, I didn't think she would be around to see me get married or have children. But in those 10 years a new treatment was developed and she is still here. She was there when I got married and my 4 children get to see her every day. This last year has been rough on her--new treatments, new medicines, hospital stays, tests, blood infections, IV antibiotics, shots. This year has been rough on all of us. There have been several nights I have cried myself to sleep wondering if she would make it through the night. This is why I am so emotional at funerals. I have been expecting to be planning and attending hers for so long and it makes it so real to me. With her health the last year it seems closer and closer. I don't know if I am making an sense. The only thing that makes it bearable is having the gospel in my life and knowing the plan of happiness. Families are FOREVER! I love my family.